Possibility, coincidence, inspiration.

The world is full of possibility.  And coincidence.  And inspiration.

I don’t know where to start.  I feel naked; no less than three times this week have I felt that thoughts have been pulled directly from my head.  It is that same phenomenon of exposure that inspires me to write…and to read.  The book I’m reading right now – which shall remain nameless until I finish it and can thus write about it properly – follows a similar theme, at least by page 100, anyhow.  It’s the best book I’ve read in a long time, which I suppose makes sense as it was recommended (and books personally recommended – rather than taken off the shelf, judged by their cover, no doubt – are always better).

But enough about books.  I’ve lived a life based on coincidence, luck, and the concept of “je ne regrette rien.”  A path is laid in front of me, and rather than think things through, I follow it.  I live, unfettered by the natural thoughts of profit and loss, balance – not always a good thing, but simply how I am.  An example: today my father was telling me about why he didn’t contest a recent traffic ticket.  He was pulled over for running a stop sign; I don’t know if he actually did it.  Last time I saw him, he was telling me that he planned to fight the ticket, but today explained that the cost wasn’t worth it…It would have cost him $200 in missed work, at least, plus the cost of gas (currently around $4/gallon in the US) to get to court, plus a fine and possible jail time for contempt of court (I took from this that he intended to yell at the cop who pulled him over), plus a least a hundred dollars in books that my mother would have had to buy for him if he’d had to spend three days in jail.  Of course he was joking, and I laughed, but realized that I have no concept of that kind of thinking.  I am almost always willing to throw down cash for whatever my little heart desires…always have been, even when I didn’t have it.  Plane ticket to California?  Why the hell not?  I don’t spend a lot of money in my day-to-day-life, mostly just coffee and lunch.  If I take a day off to go to the beach, I make it worthwhile; loss of pay, expenses…never cross my mind.

More than that, however, I am committed to living each day as if it were my last.  I realize that this is a huge privilege, and one that I haven’t always had.  So if I wake up and want a doughnut, I have one (as long as it’s not from Dunkin’ Donuts, that is).  If I want to take a trip, I do it.  We are on this planet for too little time to yearn.  Perhaps this is indicative of my generation, or perhaps it’s just me, but I can’t fathom not living life to its fullest or taking advantage of every opportunity.  I can’t imagine not taking every possibility into consideration.  For what is life without fantasy?  What is life without believing that anything is possible?

In many ways, my lifestyle is a disadvantage.  I will probably never own a home.  Property alludes me, as does commitment of most kinds.  As my father remarked today, even a year lease is too much of a commitment for me.  But I’m starting to believe that’s not such a bad thing.  Why bother going through life without a constant buzzing of possibility beneath one’s skin?  We only have this one life, and it ends much faster than it begins.  I vow, I try, never to forget that.

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