Whilst wandering around a Berlin Christmas market with surveillance-concerned friends from ten different countries last night, we came up with a lovely holiday song for you all (with a little help from Twitter friends*).  From the bottom:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the NSA gave to me:

Twelve days of torture,

Eleven days in prison,

Ten FISA orders,

Nine Clapper head rubs,

Eight legs a-reaching,

Seven pens a-trapping,

Six drones a-spying,

Five Eyes spying,

Four viruses,

Three Fins a-Fishing,

Two hacked phones,

And a rootkit malware on my laptop.

 

*Thanks to: @astepanovich, @joncamfield, @jessecfriedman, @quinnnorton, @ChrChristensen, @octal, @sleepylemur, and @xeenarh for your contributions!