Jillian C. York

Jillian C. York is a writer and activist.

On Diversity in Gender

This morning, I came across a comment from a total stranger on FriendFeed, a platform which – up until today – didn’t impress me much.  The comment, by Mona Nomura, was simply:

Any female who says she is ok with being a “friend with benefits” is lying to themselves. Stop it, you’re worth more.

Immediately, I felt my usual angry fire rising up – not because I strongly disagree with her (I do, but that’s almost irrelevant), but because I can’t stand to see anyone make assumptions about an entire group of people.  Oddly enough, Mona’s assertion was based on her own frustration in the misuse of “equality” to imply that men and women are made entirely equal, with no emotional differences; I disagree with that assumption as well, but extend it further to state that not all women – or men – are equal to all others within their gender.

You can see, from the 100+ comments, that this is something many people feel strongly about, for one reason or another.  That, to me, demonstrates the wonderful diversity we have amongst us!  There are men who dream of marriage just like there are women who dream of unencumbered flings.  There are women who want to spend the rest of their lives with one partner, while there are men for whom marriage will never be an ideal.  There are those of us who put ourselves into a particular box because society tells us it’s right, only to discover that it won’t work for us.  There are others who fight so hard against societal norms, only to learn that those norms are what they actually believe in.

My point?  We’re all different.  We should stop boxing ourselves into gender stereotypes just as we should stop boxing ourselves into the lie that everyone is exactly equal.

4 Comments

  1. Jillian – EXACTLY. Male of female, agree or disagree, that’s not the point. The point is, accepting all and everyone’s differences and learning to co-exist knowing we are all different. And that, to me, is why I love FriendFeed (as well as our world) so much.

    I hope to see you more in FF Land and I am definitely looking forward to getting to know you more! Nice to meet you and an excellent piece!

    • Thanks for commenting, Mona! I certainly agree with you on that point. Nice to meet you as well – and I think your post and the follow-up comments have finally gotten me to embrace FriendFeed (I’m typically more of a Twitter gal).

  2. I actually started backwards — FriendFeed -> Twitter. As much as I grew to love Twitter, FriendFeed is like a home away from home, especially with someone like me that talks a lot LOL It’s allll about conversations and interactions on there and it’s so bizarre to me, how we have heated discussions, yet our community is strong LOL. I love it so much because people speak their minds without getting flamed (too much). :)

    And thus, will begin your new addiction. ;)

  3. Well said JCY. Interesting discussion.

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