In three days, I will be in Damascus. Even since my passport arrived in the mail with the giant visa stamp leaking through to the next page less than a month ago, it hasn’t quite felt real. I keep waiting for it to, but it seems like the more I travel, the less I’m able to get myself worked up for a trip, at least not until I’m into the first leg of a flight.
No…I suppose the lack of visible excitement comes from how little planning went into this trip. Every other major trip I’ve taken in the past few years involved several months of ideating, then came booking the flight, buying travel guides, making arrangements for stays. In this case, I had the intent to take a trip in 2009 and was invited to stay with a friend from Global Voices, something I’ve learned never to pass up. Because I’m staying with a friend born and raised there, I haven’t bothered to do any research of my own beyond the requisite flickr-searching and light online reading. I’d rather be surprised, like I was with Budapest.
I know I will have so much to say when I return, but right now, words are failing me. This has been a really difficult year for so many reasons and in some ways, this feels like the end of that. I can’t explain it; I’ve barely been able to eak out any emotions lately, and when I do, it still feels like I haven’t said enough. I’m fortunate to be surrounded by a select few people who understand me really really well, or I think I might lose my mind.
But, as much as this has been a difficult year, it has also been an incredible one. In February 2008 I met my first batch of Global Voices friends; one year later some of them make up my best friends in the world (literally). I am blessed, really.
And so I wait…three more days, three more days.