This is what stress is.
No matter what I do lately, I can’t seem to get things done. Now, I’m not normally one to complain to the greater Internet, but this is so unlike me. Typically able to write multiple articles in a day, plus balance my actual job and keep a moderately clean home, I’m amazed at my inability of late to multitask. Granted, since coming to Berkman, my social calendar is a bit fuller, and since I’m actually passionate about my job, I do spend some weekend time catching up on weekday work, but I’m still not sure that explains it.
I think the truth is that I need to drop a couple things. Frankly, I take on too much (and have done so for the past six or seven years). And for a long time, it’s been worthwhile to me…work really hard, get my name out there, trade in a personal life for one of work 24/7. I’m no longer sure it’s worth it. I treasure my weekends with friends, my weeknights out, and my time by myself (which, until recently, always involved my MacBook).
On the other hand, this was a good test for the future…what am I capable of? The answer, I suppose, is that I’m asking the wrong question. It isn’t a matter of what I’m capable of, but what I actually desire. And the answer apparently isn’t what I thought it was.
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24.09.2008Hisham
Happiness is our goal isn’t it? Whatever you do, make sure you’re happy doing what you’re doing. Sorry for sounding pretentiously moralistic, but I’m sure your unique experience throughout cultures has made you aware of the simplest and common things that make a person happy. What ever your take on the non sense I just uttered just keep being as energetic and contagiously happy as I (we, contributers to the blogosphere) always know you to be
24.09.2008Hisham
Latest :
I’ve been browsing through your photo album on Flickr and then I just suddenly couldn’t believe my eyes: the ugly/mignon little dog in the picture “http://www.flickr.com/photos/jilliancyork/2775446318/” is the exact replica of the one I have my self. My dog’s name is Oscar and he is looking for a fella!
I never thought my Dog belonged to some kind of dog race/species. I thought it was some kind of mixed race and therefore very rare to find.
24.09.2008Jillian
@Hisham,
Odd that you mention that; I think part of the problem is that I’m tired of the US already and, despite how much I love my work, I don’t know if I can last here for more than another year. Happy I still am, but my energy is waning. I’m trying :)
As for the pup, you are super lucky. Those dogs are exceptionally cute (and I love pretty much all dogs…except poodles). Give Oscar a big doggy hug from me.