This is what stress is.

No matter what I do lately, I can’t seem to get things done. Now, I’m not normally one to complain to the greater Internet, but this is so unlike me. Typically able to write multiple articles in a day, plus balance my actual job and keep a moderately clean home, I’m amazed at my inability of late to multitask. Granted, since coming to Berkman, my social calendar is a bit fuller, and since I’m actually passionate about my job, I do spend some weekend time catching up on weekday work, but I’m still not sure that explains it.

I think the truth is that I need to drop a couple things. Frankly, I take on too much (and have done so for the past six or seven years). And for a long time, it’s been worthwhile to me…work really hard, get my name out there, trade in a personal life for one of work 24/7. I’m no longer sure it’s worth it. I treasure my weekends with friends, my weeknights out, and my time by myself (which, until recently, always involved my MacBook).

On the other hand, this was a good test for the future…what am I capable of? The answer, I suppose, is that I’m asking the wrong question. It isn’t a matter of what I’m capable of, but what I actually desire. And the answer apparently isn’t what I thought it was.