I’m impatient. When I want something, I want it right at that moment. I can’t make plans. My father is the same way; this morning, he pointed out a local barber shop, telling me he’d gotten a terrible haircut there. I asked why he went to that particular, unknown spot, and he said “because I wanted to get my hair cut right at that moment.”
I do things like that constantly, most often involving travel (though I too have been known to cut off all my hair and the tattoo on my left ankle? I was bored that night). I’ve driven to New York on ten minutes’ notice. I’ve decided, at 1:00 am, that it’s time to get moving, and undertaken a six hour drive just to get there at sunup. I’ve decided, at an unreasonable hour, to take a random road trip to Cape Cod for the weekend. Once, I bought a plane ticket to Munich out of frustration. And this past Friday, I hopped in my car headed for a very familiar destination, but at a second’s notice nonetheless, canceling all of my plans. Wanderlust gets me every time.
I sound like a braggart, but that’s not my intent, in fact, I struggle with this impulsiveness. It’s a strange mix – In addition to being impulsive, I am also, by all accounts, tireless. So is my mother; she’s an IT director and works harder than just about anyone I know. Every year, she has extra vacation time left over and every year, she uses less than half of it (okay, so I’m not that tireless). Like her, when I’m passionate about something – like all of the work I’m involved in right now, and oh how good it feels to finally be able to say that – I can’t stop. I run on caffeine, on fumes. I run on sheer enthusiasm sometimes. I run and run and run and can go on that way for months until I finally burn out.
That, of course, is where the impulsiveness comes in. So what I must do is find a way to combat my obsessive workaholism…or at least cut my coffee intake in half, sleep a little more, and stop wearing my heart on my sleeve. Perhaps locking up my credit cards so I don’t just hop on travelocity.com and book random flights is a good idea too…